loss of a loved one

The loss of a loved one affects everyone differently. When the loved one is coming towards the end of their perceived natural time span, we get plenty of warning. Which means the grief tends to be manageable, although it can still be unexpectedly intense.

I recall I was OK with the death of my dad, until I saw his coffin. The idea of him lying inside a box was too much for me.

The loss of a loved one when they are still young, or the death is sudden, so unexpected, tends to leave many reeling. Then the grief is mixed in with shock.

If you were dependent on the loved one, such as the parent of a child, a partner, the chief giver of unconditional love in your life, then the grief and shock can be mixed in with a sort of helplessness. A radical change may be needed.

Grief is a Very Natural Emotion

When grief is allowed to play out naturally, without hiding it, or exaggerating it, it will gradually dissipate on its own. That’s doesn’t mean you will forget the loved one. But you’re able to move on. You can discover the love of another dog, another partner without trying to replace them, which is impossible.

Preventing the grief from its natural expression, either with drugs or holding it in, will tend to lead you down a path of ill health. Physical conditions are the result. Usually years later, so no connection is made.

Shock is Often Accompanied By Questions

Why did my dog die so young? I did all the right things. I did my best. I followed the vets advice to the T.

Whilst we are well aware that we will all die one day, the sudden death of anyone, let alone a loved one, can still be a shock. We can be full of questions. And those questions can be our best teachers.

Animals, our four (or maybe two) legged companions in this life, offer us the best lessons to learn from. Could I have done better? Did any of my actions contribute to their early demise? What else could I have done?

The Loss of a Loved One

By Madeleine Innocent
June 24th 2024

These can be tough questions to ask of ourselves, but when we don’t we lose an opportunity to learn, to grow. Often for our own good.

The wisdom of elders comes from a lifetime of confronting these questions, searching for better ways and being at peace with the decisions, while being open to learn more.

Moving on from the Loss of a Loved One

This sounds callous in the early days and weeks, especially when they were a staple, a key contributor, in your life. Again, this is a perfectly natural reaction to the loss and needs time to be processed.

Trying to carry on normally in this situation is counter productive. Sometimes time away can help.

When a child loses a beloved pet, especially when that pet was the main source of love in their life, it’s a big deal. Not only have they lost that vital source of love that their parents may not be providing, they have confronted their mortality, possibly for the first time.

To tell them ‘it’s only a dog’ or whatever, is not only callous and unfeeling (and says a great deal about the person saying it), animals are NOT inferior to humans, despite the current mainstream view.

When an adult loses a partner they depend on, it means they also have to deal with a change in their life, sometimes radical.

When grief is not allowed to process naturally, there will be endless opportunities to do so. It’s how the universe works. When we don’t ‘get it’ (the lesson) we are offered endless opportunities.

Suppressing multiple griefs and their other attendant emotions, either by denial or by drugs, allows the intensity to build up, which MUST find a vent eventually. And that vent is something impossible to ignore - physical ailments.

But THEY can still be suppressed. With more drugs.

Is it any wonder the health of the world is in such a mess?

Time is a Great Healer

Life moves on. Other things take your attention. You find a wonderful new partner. You fall in love with a beautiful dog.

You’re not trying to replace the lost loves. You cannot take away that love, that bond. But things change. Animals, and that includes us, are adaptable.

Allow the grief. You are NOT depressed when you’re grieving. Learn from the lessons offered by the loss of a loved one. You’ll be wiser for it.

If the grief feels it's stuck, homeopath treatment can help.

Free ebook on understanding why dogs are so sick and how you can set about changing that

Subscribe and receive regular emails on restoring and maintaining happy, healthy dogs!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

©2023 Madeleine innocent. All Rights Reserved

Page Created with OptimizePress